Masculinity, what it meant and what it will mean in the future has taken center-stage this week. Exhibit A, watching Gus Waltz unabashedly showing his emotions and love for his father and winning social media because of it. Yet for some, that love was viewed with contempt and a threat to “being a man”?
What if showing love, compassion, authenticity, vulnerability, etc. wasn’t seen as a threat or a weakness but actually a strength and how men functioned in our society? — As an American male, I can tell you, we stand are at a crossroads. Stay in place or move forward? Stagnate or evolve with humanity?
For generations, society has clung to a narrow, rigid definition of what it means to be a man — stoic, strong, and emotionally distant. It’s an outdated model that brought us to this point, but won’t move us to the next level because it not only constrained us but has also harmed our relationships, communities, and collective well-being. Today, it’s time to find balance in masculinity, move beyond the scared little boys that continue to inform our adulthood, and embrace a new vision of what it actually means to be a man in modern society.
Growing Up in the Old Paradigm
Growing up in the ’70s and ’80s was a time when the traditional view of masculinity was deeply ingrained in our culture. In the family, neighborhood, and era I was raised, being a man meant adhering to a rigid set of rules — rules that demanded toughness, emotional suppression, and a relentless focus on being in control. Vulnerability was seen as weakness, and any deviation from this stoic ideal was met with ridicule or even shame.
Being a man asked us to cut off parts of ourselves, to deny the full range of our emotions, and to fit into a narrow mold that left little room for individuality or authenticity. As boys, we were taught that real men don’t cry, that showing emotion or compassion was a sign of failure, and that our worth was measured by how well we could suppress our feelings and project an image of unshakable strength.
But this model limited us and left us disconnected — from our own inner lives, from the people around us, and from the deeper, more meaningful aspects of life. Trapped in emotional isolation unable to reach out for support or to form genuine connections with everyone.
A New Vision of Masculinity
We’ve reached a pivotal moment in history — a moment where we must ask ourselves: What does it truly mean to be a man? The old definitions no longer serve us. It’s time to define a new kind of masculinity, one that celebrates emotional honesty, vulnerability, and connection. Being a man should not be defined by how much we can suppress but by how deeply we can connect — with ourselves and with others.
In this new vision, strength is not about stoicism but about the courage to be real, to express our true feelings, and to show up fully in our lives. It’s about being willing to be vulnerable, to admit when we’re afraid, when we’re hurt, and when we need support. This kind of strength is not about dominance but about authenticity and integrity.
The Courage to (re)Define Masculinity
Redefining masculinity requires courage — courage to let go of old stereotypes and embrace a more expansive, inclusive view of what it means to be a man. This shift isn’t easy, especially in a society that often clings to traditional gender roles. But it’s essential if we want to create a world where men can live more fully, more authentically, and more connected to their true selves.
This evolution of masculinity isn’t just about individual men; it’s about transforming the generational conditioning of our society. It’s about creating a culture where men and women alike can express the full range of their humanity, where emotions are seen as strengths, and where connection and compassion are valued as much as ambition and achievement.
Moving Forward Together: A New Definition
The journey to redefine masculinity is one that we must undertake together. It requires men to be introspective, to question the old norms, and to be willing to embrace new ways of being. It also requires society to support this shift, to celebrate men who are willing to be vulnerable, and to create spaces where men can explore and express their full selves without fear of judgment.
As we move forward, let’s commit to a new definition of what it means to be a man — one that is rooted in authenticity, connection, and emotional honesty. This is the kind of masculinity that will not only enrich our lives but also create a more compassionate, connected world. It’s time to evolve, to break free from the constraints of the past, and to embrace a future where being a man means being fully, unapologetically human.
This is our moment. Let’s define what it means to be a man — on our own terms, for a better, more inclusive tomorrow.
